Changing and tracking behaviours, Part 4: Motivation and rewards

This is part of a series I'm writing inspired by a behaviour-modification course I've taken online, called "Sluta Skjuta Upp" (Stop procrastinating). My writing is not affiliated with the course itself, I'm using these blog posts to channel what I've learned into something I can revisit later.  

For me, this course theme provided the most food for thought.

 I like to think that I can't fool myself or anyone else, in terms of fairly and honestly judging the duration and quality of any work I put in... So for quite some time I have been telling myself the following:

You do not deserve to be rewarded for getting work done, that you're supposed to be doing anyway. 

Despite this no-nonsense internal dialogue, it should surprise no one following this series that it wasn't making me procrastinate less (...how's that for a triple negation). Indeed, perendinating* was more like my M.O.  For at least two days in a row. ;)

Still, I previously didn't make the connection between rewards and the ruling power of gratification. My attitude was somewhere between "I don't deserve rewards" and "I can't be bribed".

So, the third and final week of the SSU course was about motivation and rewards, which initially brought out the cynic in me, but my interest was pretty soon piqued thanks to the articles our course leaders were sly enough to throw at us in barrages, and after reading this one and getting this summary on realistic goals on youtube I found that perhaps my current way of looking at rewards and motivation wasn't helping me forward (similar to my epiphany regarding  unsuitable techniques for long-distance running).

An interesting thing to examine (especially for a skeptic) is how the brain chemically signals gratification, and how that signalling can override logic and/or be suppressed. It turns out that unless there is an overhanging threat to our well-being, it (and our instincts, as this article angles it) has a tendency to prioritize immediate gratification. The delayed gratification of completing a large task (or even dividing it into manageable chunks) is never as great as the possibility that something else that requires less effort could be more immediately rewarding - hence the frequent beeline for some form of online light entertainment or another more satisfying activity. This article goes for a laboratory rat explanation which was a huge eye-opener for me, because it posits that we don't even need a guarantee for a reward everytime we push our easiest buttons.

So how did I apply this? For simplicity's sake, let's do a BEFORE/ANALYSIS/AFTER thing on me here:

Attitude towards rewards/motivation BEFORE:

1. "I don't deserve to spoil myself additionally for doing stuff that I'm getting paid to do"
2. "I take such small steps that [...insert previous point]"
3. "OK, if I complete this entire [insert large, un-broken-down project], I can reward myself by finally taking some time for [insert fun but vague-in-duration activity, usually sewing, yoga, rearranging furniture or other creative mammoth projects] ...when I get home"
4. "I think that I'm motivated by completing huge, complicated projects, and even if things heat up near the end, I can always put in the extra oomph and complete the task just within the deadline"

If we dissect these thoughts, they hide a lot of traps that I was setting up for myself by refusing to acknowledge that rewards might work on me. Point by point, this is what I learned to see:

ANALYSIS:

1. Seeing rewards as "spoiling" myself reflected a shaming stance, which discouraged any attempts at trying the idea and literally presented a catch-22, because on one hand, I didn't want to be seen as a spoiled person, but on the other hand I'm denying myself permission to enjoy anything other than the gratification of getting paid for my work at the end of the month. 
2. This thinking (as well as point 3) revealed that I tended to focus on my disappointment with slow progress, valuing it as worthless in comparison with completing huge chunks of work  (which is the ultimate result of pulling all-nighters). I am rather impatient, so hello self-fulfilling prophecy.
3. This point was especially revealing! My tendency was to promise myself that if only I would first complete something 'big enough', I could reward myself by giving time and space to a passion project... but with a delay. The result was that a) no reward ever felt logically connected to any work-related progress, b) all my promised rewards were in effect a new task to take on and complete (which in turn could be postponed indefinitely!), and c) I would often end up doing them anyway regardless of how work had gone.
4. This sums up rather neatly the consequences of not chunking the work into small, achievable steps and feeling no motivation to complete the steps: I would wait until my brain signalled a greater avoidance of panic and discomfort than the gratification of postponing the task any longer - i.e., deadline crunch panic would become the only motivator. There was a slight problem though - I saw this as waiting until inspiration struck.

Attitude towards rewards/motivation AFTER:

1. I can push myself to complete what I'm supposed to do if I chunk the task into smaller bits and see each small completion as a victory worth celebrating. 
2. There's a helluva difference between intentionally planned small steps and 'smaller steps than I imagined' - the second stance sets one up for constant disappointment because it's so vague and yet so judgmental. However, practicing that 'chunking' intentionally makes even a skeptic like me recognize that I am making gradual process. As with almost anything, it's a question of attitude.
3. I have to stop rewarding huge tasks with new huge tasks. ;) Because chances are that I'll postpone the huge for-fun task so much that it has no logical connection to the victory of completing the initial task. 
4. I'm thinking that if I exercise points 1-3, I won't end up locking myself into last-minute cramming so much, which has hitherto been my most obviously rewarding method of completing tasks (spiced with an adrenaline rush) - but only because it ends up being my only successful method of working. So developing a more chunk-and-immediate-reward method may not only make my work more enjoyable, but also earn me some extra sleep hours ;) Also, as this article says - you can't wait for motivation. You have to jump start it yourself, because your brain is often going to feel apprehensive about giving up the gratification of remaining comfortably passive.

I'm not gonna call this a magic quick-fix just yet, I obviously have some changes to practice if I want this to stick. But I see the promise of intentional rewards solving much of the initial problem (my procrastination) a lot more clearly than before. I'm willing to call that recognition definite progress, and go reward myself now with a coffee break. :)

This concludes my mini-series; I wrote it mostly to reflect on and digest the learning points for myself, but I hope it might have helped anyone who has a similar tendency to think/procrastinate/perendinate like me to discover a few new techniques and tools to increase clarity of goals and deviate from the path of least resistance.

Thanks for reading! :)
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* And Thanks Eva, for that brilliant new piece of vocabulary :)